How to be Kedar

I didn’t get this from a source, actually. this is just my own personal experience, and my own advice.

panic attacks aren’t always caused by a fear of something. only the more severe ones are. when I began having panic attacks, I was in the exact same situation as you.

if your panic attacks are serious, it’s almost impossible to calm down unless you take medication. if you have a more moderate condition, you might be able to use some techniques to calm yourself down.

try these out to see if they help you feel better. they work for me!

deep breathing is a great technique. close your eyes and pay complete attention to your breath. the way it goes in and out. if you can, go to a quiet room. I have ear plugs – they are very cheap – try to see if you can buy a box. deep breathing doesn’t always work – it makes my heart beat even faster. if you have the same problem, then don’t do deep breathing.

if your thoughts are racing, listen to some music. then you will pay more attention to the music than to your own thoughts. also, it will make you feel very good if you sing and dance to your favorite songs. I do this sometimes, and it almost always makes me feel much better. do something to slow your thoughts down.

most of the time getting active takes away the anxiety. I exercise – do some ab crunches, run around, stretch; after a while, when I’ve used up my energy, I feel more calm and the anxiety feels better. another thing that I do is get chores done. for me, cleaning is a very relaxing activity. taking a shower always makes me feel better – a hot bath usually makes me feel more anxious. but try those things and see what works for you.

going outside makes me feel very relaxed. sitting in the sun, watching the clouds and the blue sky – it is very peaceful. sometimes it makes me feel more anxious, but if I just enjoy the cool breeze, I feel calm.

Doing pleasurable things takes off a lot of anxiety. eating your favorite foods, making funny faces in the mirror, watching a funny show and laughing. calling an old friend, or making a date to meet with friends, that makes me feel good. I don’t know how you would take this advice, but sex takes off a lot of anxiety. figure out what you like to do, and make a plan to do those things when you feel anxious.

I think the best advice, if you able to do it (I can’t) is to reprogram your mind. when you’re having a panic attack, tell yourself that everything is going to be okay. slow down. try to imagine a pleasant memory – like a happy place. tell yourself that it will soon be over. when you start feeling a little better, tell yourself that you are feeling better and it is not as bad as you thought it would be. I’m not able to do this very well, but if it works for you, then try it.

If none of these techniques work, and you can’t figure out your own techniques, then you probably need to take medication or see a psychiatrist. it might just be the case that you’re stressed out.

something you can do, if it’s possible, is to either solve the triggers (noisy kids and table tapping), or to just get used to it. see if you can find a way to do either of those things.

good luck, Robin, tell me if any of these ideas work, and if you are able to figure out your own way, let me know!

wow, I really wish someone told me this. If you or someone you know suffers from panic attacks, please read this. from my experiences with panic attacks, I believe this will help.

a panic attack is like a brain trick. for me, I have a fear that my heart is going to burst, a fear that I am on the edge of death, and a fear that I am going to vomit. when one of these fears is somehow triggered, my mind is tricked into believing that I am in that situation.

for instance, if something triggers my fear of vomiting, I will suddenly feel very nauseous. I will feel that way for as long as the panic attack lasts.

so a panic attack is your mind telling you something scary is about to happen – something that doesn’t exist. the problem is, during a panic attack, you’re really convinced that the problem does exist.

it sounds silly, but this can be a very traumatic experience.

the absolute worst possible thing you can do is try to calm yourself down. here’s what happens if you do. by attempting to calm yourself down, you are tricking your mind even more into thinking that the problem exists.

the more you try to fix the problem, the worse it gets. this includes deep breathing exercises, meditation, walks in the park, drinking tea, telling myself that everything is okay – these are all methods that I use to calm myself down, but they never work when I’m having a panic attack!

so what can you do, if you can’t calm yourself down?

well one solution is taking medication. I take medication for my panic attacks, but usually only when I am in a serious situation.

the only real solution, psychologically, is to go with the flow. like I said, focusing on the problem or trying to fix it will only make it worse. so kind of just be where you are. whatever’s happening, is happening. read about the Tao – in Taoism, there is a concept called wu wei. it means ‘action without action’ or ‘effortless doing’. the idea is that things naturally unfold – a planet does not try to revolve around the sun, and a tree does not try to grow. the same is true for you and me – we don’t have to try to do something, but we are still in motion, still doing things.

there is no quick fix for a panic attack. as soon as it begins, you have to wait it out until it is over.